Lesson 33: There is another way of looking at the world

I was more than a little confused. It was not like Shea to be upset or moody, especially with me. I was the one she confided to in her worst moments. Why was she not speaking to me today?  Her choice to be quiet instead of talk to me had me confused. Maybe she had …

Continue reading Lesson 33: There is another way of looking at the world

Lesson 32: I have invented the world I see

A strange thing took place as I hugged the kiddo this morning. Usually in my morning rush, I would respond to his hugs with a mixture of hurry and restlessness to get moving. Today as his arms wove themselves around me, I had the strangest feeling I was hugging myself. I could see my need …

Continue reading Lesson 32: I have invented the world I see

Lesson 29: God is in everything I see

As the phone rang, I knew what it would be. There was only one reason people woke me up in the middle of the night. Another baby had been left at our doorstep. As I got ready, I knew what everyone at the orphanage would be doing by now. There was a standard set of …

Continue reading Lesson 29: God is in everything I see

Lesson 28: Above all else I want to see differently.

Sipping my coffee, I looked at the busy street outside. The traffic showed no sign of pausing. It was then I noticed the beggar, right outside the café. She was chasing after a man who was passing by. A dishevelled dirty skirt wrapped around her bottom, an oversize shirt hanging over a lanky top half, …

Continue reading Lesson 28: Above all else I want to see differently.

Lesson 27: Above all else I want to see.

Applying the colour to the client’s hair, I stepped back to check if it was applied evenly. It looked fine. I smiled at the client. “Done. Now we wait for half hour. Do you want some tea while you wait?” “No. Just get me water,” she replied. I left to get it. It was a …

Continue reading Lesson 27: Above all else I want to see.

Lesson 26: My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability

It had been a while and the pain had not abated. Taking one more sip of the warm water, I prayed that the pain subsides. I looked besides me to ensure the phone was close-by. I hoped it wouldn’t come to that and I wouldn’t need to dial emergency. Rubbing my aching tummy, I leaned …

Continue reading Lesson 26: My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability

Lesson 25: I do not know what anything is for

The watch glistened inside the case. It was so pretty. I had waited for a long time to buy this. Saving and scrimping through the past 6 months to own this beautiful thing. I had imagined the compliments I would get when I would wear it. The envy in my nemesis’s eye, the admiration in …

Continue reading Lesson 25: I do not know what anything is for

Lesson 24: I do not perceive my own best interests

“Shall I do some silent clearing, he asked?” Yes, we both said. Readily agreeing. I muted myself. I heard my friend do the same. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I wanted to be angry. I did not want to show any of this. I knew he would sense all this, and I …

Continue reading Lesson 24: I do not perceive my own best interests

Lesson 23: I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts

Our laughter sailed across the room disturbing other diners and causing some to look at way with irritation. But we didn’t care. Most of the girls didn’t even notice it like I did. Sinking back into my seat, I watched them talk. I couldn’t hear their words. My mind was too busy with mine. Friends. …

Continue reading Lesson 23: I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts

Lesson 22: What I see is a form of vengeance

I mopped the floor with more force than necessary. The broom swished and sloshed across the floor leaving more puddles behind than was necessary. “Careful Gaby. You might slip and fall yourself,” said Cindy kindly. I sent a smile her way, even as I wished Craig would come and fall down instead. What an idiotic …

Continue reading Lesson 22: What I see is a form of vengeance