Feeling Upset

There are no small upsets in life. They are all equally disturbing to your peace of mind – A Course In Miracles.

Today there was an argument at home on a topic that we have argued about previously as well. The exact same issue was discussed and everyone involved had the exact same responses. It was like a bad deja-vu. I was at first upset with others. Then I was angry with myself. Why was I reacting to the same old stories? Why were words of others that have been said before still causing pain? For a bit, I felt like a failure. A spiritual failure, because I am supposed to be more evolved now, aren’t I?

‘They should know better and do better’ is a strong belief. And if I bring it back home – ‘I should know better and I should do better’, was an equally strong belief present in this situation. But who has that thought? The same mind which doesn’t want to let go of the past, is still responding to the past, and is unable to be in the present. That mind wants to do better.

Today, somewhere in that swarm of grief and anger, what needed to be remembered returned to my mind. A conversation with GD reminded me, I had a choice to stop repeating the story in my head. I have a choice to accept that I still react based on certain beliefs. But I can also choose to return to Presence and stay in that space now.

The point of the a spiritual journey is not that we don’t make mistakes or that we don’t ever feel upset. The journey is simply about returning to peace. Choosing peaceful Presence at the first chance we remember, because we value that more than anything else in the world. Even more than our pride or our desire to be right.

Every small upset when held, nurtured, and stored in the database of our mind, becomes another battery that charges the painful past. But every time we react, it is also a simple opportunity to see what we are upset about. And to bring healing awareness into the pain again and again, as many times as needed. To return to the Light of Presence and allow the emotions to dissolve.

Try This:-

1. Whenever you are upset (angry, sad, hopeless or anything) do some deep breathing or just stretch. Get the energy out of your body. Physically release it.
2. Then ask yourself – Why am I feeling upset?
   Ask this question to yourself slowly. Ask a few times. The initial answers may have to do more with the situation or someone’s behaviour. The later responses may help you hit upon a belief. Eg – This should not be happening to me. Or they cannot speak like this to me. Or this is unfair.
3. Next, ask yourself – What is the best thing I can do for myself in this moment? What can I do to take a step towards peace?
   Stay with these questions. Your mind might throw multiple options or none. But by simply asking yourself this, you can energetically open up the space for peace. If you get multiple options, choose the one that is most practically possible in the moment. Do not stress yourself with this process. Use it to bring you closer to peace.
4. Lastly, imagine gentle golden white light, filling up your mind. Then visualize yourself acting upon that most peaceful option. Pay attention to how you feel. Allow yourself to rest and relax.

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