I mopped the floor with more force than necessary. The broom swished and sloshed across the floor leaving more puddles behind than was necessary. “Careful Gaby. You might slip and fall yourself,” said Cindy kindly. I sent a smile her way, even as I wished Craig would come and fall down instead. What an idiotic …
Continue reading Lesson 22: What I see is a form of vengeance
Before I could react, Ari had walked out the room. He slammed the door of his room screaming, “you are the worst mother ever.” A part of me wanted to chase him inside and shake him. His words scratched my heart. I felt dazed with rage. “How dare he speak to me this way,” screamed …
Continue reading Lesson 21: I am determined to see things differently
Dear S, Wanted to share something interesting with you. From afternoon, I have been wanting to fight with you. I have noticed that when I feel down, I am really in a closed space. Can't take any form of feedback. I know you will say I am always closed, and I will say look who …
Continue reading Lesson 18: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing
Lesson 16: I have no neutral thoughts. Lesson 17: I see no neutral things. Muttering under my breath, I scowled at the article I was reading. How could that imbecile have been made president! How could so many people in that country think he was good! The world had gone mad. It has no sense …
I found myself in nature today. I wanted to believe she had missed me...was waiting for me to come. But I know I was deluding myself with such thoughts. In my absence, she was herself all along. A colour here, a texture there, she had not changed her habits a bit. If anything, she had …
Continue reading Lesson 15: My thoughts are images that I have made
I pushed the cart to its usual corner in the market. Around me, others had already set up shop. “Hari, you are late today. What happened?” asked Shyam, arranging the tomatoes in his cart into a neat pile as he spoke. “Just overslept. Had a headache last evening and couldn’t sleep till late,” I replied …
Continue reading Lesson 14: God did not create a meaningless world
Walking to my spot on the track, I tried to withdraw my attention from the crowd’s roaring chants. It was not my name they were saying now. But by the time I was done, it would be my name. By the time the race was done, I would have set a new record and they …
Continue reading Lesson 13: A meaningless world engenders fear
Baba, is it more important to be a devotee or focus on Oneness? Sai Baba :- The 'form' is just a means to get you somewhere. In prayer, most focus on the form, but the purpose of the process is forgotten. Devotion is a process of evolution. It is the stepping stone to Oneness. It …
I really wanted to lean against the wall and rest my head. But there was nothing I could touch. I didn’t want to. The world was struggling with the pandemic. They had just taken dad in for some tests, and it would be a while before he was back. What was I supposed to do …
Continue reading Lesson 12: I am upset because I see a meaningless world
The dishes clattered loudly as I threw them into the sink. Pausing for a moment, I waited to see if she responded. When she did not, I continued cleaning. I pushed the drawers shut roughly. I sighed and muttered to myself. Though I wanted to make it perfectly clear that I was irritated and angry, …
Continue reading Lesson 11: My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world
