Lesson 25: I do not know what anything is for

The watch glistened inside the case. It was so pretty. I had waited for a long time to buy this. Saving and scrimping through the past 6 months to own this beautiful thing. I had imagined the compliments I would get when I would wear it. The envy in my nemesis’s eye, the admiration inContinueContinue reading “Lesson 25: I do not know what anything is for”

Lesson 24: I do not perceive my own best interests

“Shall I do some silent clearing, he asked?” Yes, we both said. Readily agreeing. I muted myself. I heard my friend do the same. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I wanted to be angry. I did not want to show any of this. I knew he would sense all this, and IContinueContinue reading “Lesson 24: I do not perceive my own best interests”

Lesson 23: I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts

Our laughter sailed across the room disturbing other diners and causing some to look at way with irritation. But we didn’t care. Most of the girls didn’t even notice it like I did. Sinking back into my seat, I watched them talk. I couldn’t hear their words. My mind was too busy with mine. Friends.ContinueContinue reading “Lesson 23: I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts”

Lesson 22: What I see is a form of vengeance

I mopped the floor with more force than necessary. The broom swished and sloshed across the floor leaving more puddles behind than was necessary. “Careful Gaby. You might slip and fall yourself,” said Cindy kindly. I sent a smile her way, even as I wished Craig would come and fall down instead. What an idioticContinueContinue reading “Lesson 22: What I see is a form of vengeance”

Lesson 19: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.

Staring at the TV screen, I asked myself if this was what I had intended. I had not. Violence was not in my mind when I had made the speech on campus. The phone rang again. Picking it up, I turned off the vibration notification. I didn’t want to speak to anyone. Looking around, IContinueContinue reading “Lesson 19: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.”

Lesson 18: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing

Dear S, Wanted to share something interesting with you. From afternoon, I have been wanting to fight with you. I have noticed that when I feel down, I am really in a closed space. Can’t take any form of feedback. I know you will say I am always closed, and I will say look whoContinueContinue reading “Lesson 18: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing”

Lesson 15: My thoughts are images that I have made

I found myself in nature today. I wanted to believe she had missed me…was waiting for me to come. But I know I was deluding myself with such thoughts. In my absence, she was herself all along. A colour here, a texture there, she had not changed her habits a bit. If anything, she hadContinueContinue reading “Lesson 15: My thoughts are images that I have made”

Lesson 14: God did not create a meaningless world

I pushed the cart to its usual corner in the market. Around me, others had already set up shop. “Hari, you are late today. What happened?” asked Shyam, arranging the tomatoes in his cart into a neat pile as he spoke. “Just overslept. Had a headache last evening and couldn’t sleep till late,” I repliedContinueContinue reading “Lesson 14: God did not create a meaningless world”

Lesson 13: A meaningless world engenders fear

Walking to my spot on the track, I tried to withdraw my attention from the crowd’s roaring chants. It was not my name they were saying now. But by the time I was done, it would be my name. By the time the race was done, I would have set a new record and theyContinueContinue reading “Lesson 13: A meaningless world engenders fear”

Lesson 11: My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world

The dishes clattered loudly as I threw them into the sink. Pausing for a moment, I waited to see if she responded. When she did not, I continued cleaning. I pushed the drawers shut roughly. I sighed and muttered to myself. Though I wanted to make it perfectly clear that I was irritated and angry,ContinueContinue reading “Lesson 11: My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world”