“Shall I do some silent clearing, he asked?” Yes, we both said. Readily agreeing. I muted myself. I heard my friend do the same. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I wanted to be angry. I did not want to show any of this. I knew he would sense all this, and I …
Continue reading Lesson 24: I do not perceive my own best interests
Our laughter sailed across the room disturbing other diners and causing some to look at way with irritation. But we didn’t care. Most of the girls didn’t even notice it like I did. Sinking back into my seat, I watched them talk. I couldn’t hear their words. My mind was too busy with mine. Friends. …
Continue reading Lesson 23: I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts
I mopped the floor with more force than necessary. The broom swished and sloshed across the floor leaving more puddles behind than was necessary. “Careful Gaby. You might slip and fall yourself,” said Cindy kindly. I sent a smile her way, even as I wished Craig would come and fall down instead. What an idiotic …
Continue reading Lesson 22: What I see is a form of vengeance
Before I could react, Ari had walked out the room. He slammed the door of his room screaming, “you are the worst mother ever.” A part of me wanted to chase him inside and shake him. His words scratched my heart. I felt dazed with rage. “How dare he speak to me this way,” screamed …
Continue reading Lesson 21: I am determined to see things differently
Staring at the TV screen, I asked myself if this was what I had intended. I had not. Violence was not in my mind when I had made the speech on campus. The phone rang again. Picking it up, I turned off the vibration notification. I didn’t want to speak to anyone. Looking around, I …
Continue reading Lesson 19: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.
Dear S, Wanted to share something interesting with you. From afternoon, I have been wanting to fight with you. I have noticed that when I feel down, I am really in a closed space. Can't take any form of feedback. I know you will say I am always closed, and I will say look who …
Continue reading Lesson 18: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing
Lesson 16: I have no neutral thoughts. Lesson 17: I see no neutral things. Muttering under my breath, I scowled at the article I was reading. How could that imbecile have been made president! How could so many people in that country think he was good! The world had gone mad. It has no sense …
I found myself in nature today. I wanted to believe she had missed me...was waiting for me to come. But I know I was deluding myself with such thoughts. In my absence, she was herself all along. A colour here, a texture there, she had not changed her habits a bit. If anything, she had …
Continue reading Lesson 15: My thoughts are images that I have made
I pushed the cart to its usual corner in the market. Around me, others had already set up shop. “Hari, you are late today. What happened?” asked Shyam, arranging the tomatoes in his cart into a neat pile as he spoke. “Just overslept. Had a headache last evening and couldn’t sleep till late,” I replied …
Continue reading Lesson 14: God did not create a meaningless world
Walking to my spot on the track, I tried to withdraw my attention from the crowd’s roaring chants. It was not my name they were saying now. But by the time I was done, it would be my name. By the time the race was done, I would have set a new record and they …
Continue reading Lesson 13: A meaningless world engenders fear
