The door banged loudly behind him. Resisting the urge to follow him, I began to clear the dishes. It was best to wait for a few moments. There was no point in talking to him when he wouldn’t listen. Scolding him didn’t work, disciplining him did not work, and showing him his flaws certainly didn’t work. I knew the only thing that worked was honesty. The only thing that worked was when I went to him with love leading me, not anger.
A few minutes later, I entered his room to find him lying down on bed, reading a book. His cheeks were flushed red with anger. His chest looked puffed up with emotions. He looked away, not wanting me to see the tears in them. At 12, it was more important to show the anger than the vulnerability.
There is nothing my holiness cannot do, I reminded myself as I sat beside him. “What,” he snapped. “What do you want?”
My holiness reverses all the laws of his world. It can take his pain away and help him understand, I reminded myself. Opening my arms, I asked for a hug. A loud sob escaped his mouth as he rushed to embrace me, burying his head on my shoulder. “Sorry, Maa. But I don’t know why I say those things in anger. I am a horrible person. I am a terrible son. I don’t deserve you.”
It would usually take a while for my son to apologise. He rarely gave in without a fight. “No. Don’t say that. You know all children of God are perfect, complete and whole. You reacted again. Next time try to remember and choose peace.”
“But Maa, I hate it when you all talk about me in front of me. Why can’t you elders realize how I feel? It makes me feel like I am being attacked and I want to defend myself.”
I looked at my son. He was wise beyond his years. He was 12. To my eyes he was still a little boy. To his young mind, he was grown up. “I am sorry we adults do that. I am sorry I do that. I promise to be more careful. I will speak to your dad as well.”
Nodding his head, he hugged me close. “How can you forgive me so easily?”
I paused before answering. “Sometimes I can. Sometimes I can’t. Today I remembered to invite God in continually. Remember as a human being we will do things that cause pain. But the point is to see if we can reduce that. If we remember everyone is just like us, it becomes easier.” I wiped his tears and looked at his face. Love danced in his eyes where anger had been a few moments ago. There is nothing my holiness cannot do.
Living in Grace 