Lesson 19: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.

Staring at the TV screen, I asked myself if this was what I had intended. I had not. Violence was not in my mind when I had made the speech on campus. The phone rang again. Picking it up, I turned off the vibration notification. I didn’t want to speak to anyone. Looking around, IContinueContinue reading “Lesson 19: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.”

Lesson 18: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing

Dear S, Wanted to share something interesting with you. From afternoon, I have been wanting to fight with you. I have noticed that when I feel down, I am really in a closed space. Can’t take any form of feedback. I know you will say I am always closed, and I will say look whoContinueContinue reading “Lesson 18: I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing”

Lesson 16 & 17: I have no neutral thoughts

Lesson 16: I have no neutral thoughts. Lesson 17: I see no neutral things. Muttering under my breath, I scowled at the article I was reading. How could that imbecile have been made president! How could so many people in that country think he was good! The world had gone mad. It has no senseContinueContinue reading “Lesson 16 & 17: I have no neutral thoughts”

Lesson 15: My thoughts are images that I have made

I found myself in nature today. I wanted to believe she had missed me…was waiting for me to come. But I know I was deluding myself with such thoughts. In my absence, she was herself all along. A colour here, a texture there, she had not changed her habits a bit. If anything, she hadContinueContinue reading “Lesson 15: My thoughts are images that I have made”

Lesson 14: God did not create a meaningless world

I pushed the cart to its usual corner in the market. Around me, others had already set up shop. “Hari, you are late today. What happened?” asked Shyam, arranging the tomatoes in his cart into a neat pile as he spoke. “Just overslept. Had a headache last evening and couldn’t sleep till late,” I repliedContinueContinue reading “Lesson 14: God did not create a meaningless world”

Lesson 13: A meaningless world engenders fear

Walking to my spot on the track, I tried to withdraw my attention from the crowd’s roaring chants. It was not my name they were saying now. But by the time I was done, it would be my name. By the time the race was done, I would have set a new record and theyContinueContinue reading “Lesson 13: A meaningless world engenders fear”

Lesson 12: I am upset because I see a meaningless world

I really wanted to lean against the wall and rest my head. But there was nothing I could touch. I didn’t want to. The world was struggling with the pandemic. They had just taken dad in for some tests, and it would be a while before he was back. What was I supposed to doContinueContinue reading “Lesson 12: I am upset because I see a meaningless world”

Lesson 11: My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world

The dishes clattered loudly as I threw them into the sink. Pausing for a moment, I waited to see if she responded. When she did not, I continued cleaning. I pushed the drawers shut roughly. I sighed and muttered to myself. Though I wanted to make it perfectly clear that I was irritated and angry,ContinueContinue reading “Lesson 11: My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world”

Lesson 10: My thoughts do not mean anything.

All around me was a buzz of activity. Books opened, books closed, pages flipped about frantically, nervous giggles, faces scrunched in concentration, lips pressed into a thin line. I looked around. Almost everyone seemed to be drowning in a sludge of anxiety, so thick it was impossible to come up for air and find relief.ContinueContinue reading “Lesson 10: My thoughts do not mean anything.”

Lesson 9: I see nothing as it is now.

The wind was moody today as I walked back to the fields. It quarreled loudly with the things in its path noisily. After tightening the turban on my head, I wrapped the shawl closer. Then the mind began to whisper lies. “The crops will spoil this year as well. The rains haven’t come for twoContinueContinue reading “Lesson 9: I see nothing as it is now.”