I found myself in nature today. I wanted to believe she had missed me…was waiting for me to come. But I know I was deluding myself with such thoughts. In my absence, she was herself all along. A colour here, a texture there, she had not changed her habits a bit. If anything, she had bloomed and blossomed, unfettered by the demanding human eye.
I walked gently on the grass, touched the leaf tenderly, smoothed my fingers on the rough tree bark and let the grass scratch my feet. The clouds out for a stroll across the sky were quite unhurried today. Looking at them, I slowed my pace. After months being locked inside, I felt freedom arrive with the bulbuls who perched themselves on the tree. As I heard them debate loudly, I found peace in their banter.
Just then a bulbul craned her neck towards me and called for my attention. “Listen,” I felt her say, “I came to your balcony yesterday as well. I really want to tell you this. Nature’s secret is that ‘she is.’ The flower doesn’t care for admiration. She blooms not for you but because it’s in her nature to do so. What you came here for is within you.” I looked incredulously at the bird. Before I could respond to her words, she flew away. “Just be,” she said as she streaked her away across the sky. I looked all around me. I had not created nature. I had not created me. I looked at the tree and saw it was what I wanted it to be. I looked at the flower and saw it was what I wanted it to be. Symbols of beauty and freedom. That tree was an image I had made. Everything was an image I had made based on my thought about it. I did not know what a tree really was. I was just seeing outside what I wanted to find within. Freedom. With a sigh I lied down on the grass. Just be, I reminded myself.