Be true each moment- Sai Baba

I have been urged since a little while now to share what Sai Baba is teaching me. He asks me to write, sees me while away my time in doubt, fear, confusion and waits patiently for me to pick up the pen. Thanks to grace, I have been writing often and I know it is time to share what he says. I will be posting excerpts of what he is telling me or the whole bits, depending on what he guides me to. Here is what he said today.

” The path to greater truth is to be true each moment. To yourself and those around you. Be honest about your fears, about your greed, about your desires. When you wander off come back and see the root of it.When the ego-mind is thus addressed, it begins to get bad at its game and you better at yours. This allows the greater truth to then make its presence felt and known.”

 

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Lessons learned in life

Recently, I have decided to write from a space where my mind, interferes as little as possible in the process. The intention is to be open to receiving whatever lessons the universe chooses for me to receive. After a long time of struggling and operating from the ego, I can finally feel the presence of grace sometimes. It all started with a sudden feeling of immense gratitude the day I felt sickest. But I am digressing here. Here are six important lessons, I have felt the universe impress hard on my heart and soul, these past few months. While each of them deserve a longer post in themselves, here is a cliff-notes version of them. As I write this, I feel immense gratitude to my teacher GD, all teachers on the path whose lessons came as timely reminders, the angels who made this happen and consciousness which guides me on.

  1. Living inward-out : Let life not be directed by outward influences but by what I truly feel inside. Listen to the self, the intuition and instincts. All everyone wants is to be truly loved unconditionally. So live with this feeling inside and remember this in all interactions. What energy emerges from you ? Love or fear? Anita Moorjani’s book ‘Dying to be Me’ is a brilliant book which emphasizes this.
  2. Devotion: In ways that I can’t describe, devotion is the one single thing that has always rescued me from my so-called-troubles. Be it something to do with work or life, what is devotion and how does it truly impact you? Some are devoted to work, some to money, some to family, some to life itself. If you examine devotion, it entails some form of surrender, to what you are doing and a trust that it will work out. And it did for me. Devotion reconnects you to what truly matters; in my case to GD, Sai Baba, Krishna, God/Consicousness/Universe. In fact there was a wonderful conversation around this that we had during a sunday session. It is available here. It is called the path to devotion.
  3. Drop to the heart: GD reminded us to do this recently and it has been helping so much! We live our lives dominated by what thoughts run in our heads.Everything we do is mental. But consciously moving our attention to our heart and shifting our energy there ( from the head), brings with it a big shift in how we relate to things around us. Things are seen as softer , there is lesser ego and judgement when we move our energy to the heart.
  4.  Be honest: The only people we are responsible for is ourselves. What I value is my truth and I have to acknowledge it. That quest will not always be spiritual (nothing spiritual about lusting after chocolate). But since we experience all through are senses, be honest about it being just that. Be honest about everything in your life, period.
  5. Learn to say NO: This should probably be first on the list for women. Since most of my life was about pleasing people, this has been hard. But seeing that most of my time is spent wanting family and friends to think, I am good is a colossal waste of my time on earth. So I listen inside and say no, when I want to. And there is nothing wrong with saying yes out of fear and then being honest with your no. Experience will make me better at this.
  6. Struggle is time for growth: Sigh, even after years I still forget this. But this time there has been a new insight! I always believed I had a pattern for anxiety. Now I know there is no pattern! If I believe in rest, I will believe in struggle and keep manifesting the two. So if I do manifest struggle, the deeper lesson is a movement onwards. It is a chance to see what weakness is being exposed and work on it.

 

Happy New Possibilities

Why is that on one day at the end of a calender year, we are compelled to recap on the previous 365 days? Why is it that we are consumed with a desire to judge, evaluate and decide what should have been and what should have not the year ago?

The promise of newness probably feels freshest on account of change. And change never seems as inevitable seeing an old calender go and new one appear. The promise of change brings with it hope. Hope that is lighter than winter’s snowflakes; hope that brings with it the fragrance of possibilities that might blossom.

And that is why the New Year is such a wake-up slap for many. It brings with it a reminder to set right that which ails you, and what your have fabulously ignored for long. And so in keeping with current much exaggerated traditions, here is some things I hope for in the year ahead.

– More courage to follow my heart.
– To shut my ears to doubts, others’ words and listen more faithfully to my intuition.
– To be creative in whatever I do and not just fixate upon writing.
– To follow the spiritual path with more dedication and determination.
– To stay healthy

I have much to be grateful for this past year, It changed my life in ways that I can’t even explain. Thank you Universe and GD and keep it all coming…

Rebirth

Our body rebuilds itself every single day. Cells die, are regenerated, thoughts come and pass and relationships flourish and shrivel, emotions come and pass. We carry somethings and end some stuff. Every singly moment is re-creation. And yet in the past few months, I feel I have been reborn. While I still carry some remnants from the old life, these feel more like lingering memories of a previous lifetime and less connected to who I am today. 

From being someone who chased words to inexplicable connection with silence. From struggling with the destruction of a self-created identity to being a mindful participant in my own rebirth, this has been a beautiful evolution. While I was aware for years that my health problems were created largely by own past emotional issues, it was only in the past few months that I have found the support systems to look at whatever blocked me in the eye and remove the clogs one-by-one. 

This journey is not one of seeking but one of allowing. Allowing whatever comes my way and receiving it with awareness that it won’t last. Be it words, love, joy, grief, people or passions, they are all part of an impermanent, dynamic life. I bid a goodbye to words, but find that they revisit quite frequently now. They too have changed and our interactions now are more pleasant. I found a teacher in my aunt who has taught me much about healing and alternative therapies. She guides me daily in my quest to live better and keeps me grounded to the fallacies of the mind. Through her I have found a guru, a spiritual mentor whose presence in my life has filled it with grace. I am beginning to learn about, understand and share my experiments with alternative therapy, energy psychology and healing.

Now I will have fun. Live this lifetime the way I am meant to. Exploring, learning, sharing, healing and enjoying the mind, world and its creations. Though I am tempted to delete everything old in this blog, I might just let it stay. But this blog too has been born again today. Happy new existence, dear one.

Being a woman

is learning to be ok with what you dislike
to be happy, sad or neutral, learning to live your emotions
making an uninfluenced choice

is finding freedom in little things – a meal, book or dance,
to float even when you think life is tied down,
to sink so you rise above

is knowing to stop, tormenting yourself with thoughts
doubts, depressions, worthlessness- when your mind whimpers
close the door, leave negativity out

is not letting yourself down,
break self-imposed barriers
ignore gossip and envious ones around

is knowing you have all you ever need
till you choose to bring in more, being a woman after all
is life’s toughest role.

Sometimes right things go wrong

The purest of intentions are the ones most misunderstood. And so when you go one way and life goes another, all you can do is wait. And hope that life corrects itself and comes back to you. Because running after life will only make seem out of your reach. (And leave you out of breath and incapable of enjoying it, if and when it returns.)