I wrote this sometime in August, saved it as a draft and forgot about it. Then in the ensuing three months, I went on to bury myself inside a pyramid and let myself suffocate. Today reading this, I realized that most of us are wise to our weaknesses and yet, we choose to indulge it, forgetting out strengths in the process.
It begins in the childhood. A slight by someone, when parents unintentionally compare you to someone else, when a success is ignored, when you are berated by your own family, an eve-teasing incident, a friend who turns foe, wrong choices that are rubbed in your face constantly, a dream you weren’t given the chance to chase, when people form cliques you are not included in, when your goodness is thought of as a front- you begin to build your pyramid. Stacking high all the disappointments, rejections, unfulfilled expectations, unheard requests, pain, shame, sorrow, dejection, fear one by one into a pyramid.
After some years you end up building one so high that inside love suffocates. In the airless room with no outlet to soar high, the mind becomes delusional and the heart irrational. Soon everything seems like an event to make you feel more worthless than you are, every word seems like a bullet that is out to wound you, every person seems like the missionary sent to convert you from a joyous soul into an inverted maniac.
Inadvertently many of us end up building our own mausoleum even as we are still alive. We set a trap for ourselves and then spend our lifetime wondering how to escape this place.