Time goes so slowly when you live in another person’s mind. Everything takes on a different meaning, is coloured a different shade. Reality is blurred because you are not seeing through your eyes. That’s what happens if you live your entire life through other people’s viewpoint. Spend the days and nights doing things right, doing things that will make them happy, make them feel proud of you, make them think of you as someone who is good-natured, adjusting, beautiful inside out , etc etc, making them feel that you put your home and family before yourself. Because that’s what a good woman is supposed to do. Be her parent’s reflection, be her in-laws reflection, be her husband’s reflection, till nothing of her remains.
But what about inside? Are you proud of who you are? Do you like what you see inside you? What is inside you? Who is the real you? Is you the person who runs a good home and does the daily chores and at the same time manages to have an identity apart from the one you have as a wife and mother or are you only a career woman. What if you look inside and discover you want neither or want a combination of both or simply don’t want to be anything.
What if the you is something that evolves constantly and so what you would really want to do changes very often. And so it makes you feel something different everyday. And that’s why you are sad inside. Because though inside is in constant motion, externally you continually try and define yourself, label yourself for the world. You don the roles, the world most easily understands and is comfortable with. To avoid questions, you silence the soul. To avoid conflicts you forget your own voice, listening only to the voice of others. And then you begin to live a life that is not yours. Only because you have forgotten to listen to your own heart. Forgotten to sing your own song.
Today can you pause and ask yourself who am I?
Living in Grace 
Hey Gyan Guru!,
Nice blog… Makes sense, and sloves a lot of confusion.:)
Dear Anita,
Elegantly written, your post highlights the internal conflicts of a woman’s mind, in a very sensitive manner.
Look forward to more of such thought-provoking posts!
All the Best!
Rada
You are right. That is typical of Indians as far as I know. May be the younger generations who are in high schools or lower might think in a different way.
Also we chase the carrot that we tie ourselves on top of our head and chase it through out our lifetime. Till the day one dies they are not satisfied with the money or status that one has. Always want to get better and better and in the process, missout all the time that they could have captured the moment. One should stop it there and think back on the days that we should have felt self content and enjoyed what we had, including the small things like the nice weather and gentle breeze. I realized when I was so happy to have a nice weather on a summer day in Chicago and a sudden thought came to me. Wait a minute. I had this kind of nice weather almost most of the year back in Coimbatore and not a single day enjoyed it as I had felt when I was in Chicago.
Good writings. Cheers.
hey anita… just browsing.. happened to stop by..
i could relate to this one ! good one 🙂
Hi Anita, very neat blog 🙂 U shud implement sharing engine like Tell-a-Friend ASAP