Its only when you let go of what you didn’t like, that you can begin to appreciate the positive aspects of the very things and people you disliked. The past few weeks have been one such discovery.
Like every family, mine too has its share of people who made me look like a devil or hurt me deeply while I was growing up. What pissed me off was that these were the very people I used to look up to. Its easy to forgive strangers ( you usually ignore them), but strangely it is very very difficult to forgive the people you love, who have scarred your trust in life and relationships. These are the people you love by default because they are related to you.
But with time I am trying to look beyond the incidents that marred my relationships with them. While I still strongly disagree with the way they have been with me, I also sense a willingness from my end to not hold onto the pain in my heart. I am trying instead to appreciate the positive in them and am thus beginning to understand them as people, who have their strengths and weaknesses. And so I choose to stay focus on the positive during the little time we spend together during the rare family events . But I also stay careful and try not to tread into topics that can be volatile. In the end relationships survive only if they are nurtured and from my end I am not going to cause a relationship to die because I let my ego clash with theirs.
3 thoughts on “It dawned on me”
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Maybe its that time of the month or something, but this post made me cry. Ours is the ultimate dysfunctional family eh?
And having been exposed to some of the shiz they used to spew… it used to make me spitting mad. I have literally gotten into shouting matches about the holier than thou, judgmental attitudes that seem prevalent in our family.
And it also depressed me. It used to depress me that I grew up hardly knowing any of my cousins, except for the 2nd hand nonsense I heard. You cannot imagine how much I used to look forward to trips to India to meet everyone.
I never understood the reason behind all the hatred, vitrol and nonsense spewed. It also made me question the ‘loyalty’ of these so-called family members. If they can bitch about someone behind their backs, they can do the same to you etc etc.
If I were you, I’d never be able to find the peace that you have found. In so many ways, you are a strong, and incredible amazing woman, and I count myself as blessed to be related to you.
Just thought you should know that you’re the chief inspiration behind my decision to become a writer. Remember the last time we met, you showed me some of the work you did for Navi Mumbai times?
I was SO Impressed woman! I couldn’t stop chattering about that all the way home (to Singapore), and then some more.
And then I figured let there be 2 writers in the family.
My uncles (whom I shall not name) had OPINIONS about my decision to study political science, to become a freelance writer, and even about my current job in marketing communications, but like I told them, they don’t know diddly squat, and its my life so their opinions don’t really count.
I like to think that we’re continuing the legacy of my grandad, who was in his own right, a lover of the written word.
PS: Sorry the comment broke up into 2 parts. I hit publish before i finished. hee hee hee.