A strange thing took place as I hugged the kiddo this morning. Usually in my morning rush, I would respond to his hugs with a mixture of hurry and restlessness to get moving. Today as his arms wove themselves around me, I had the strangest feeling I was hugging myself. I could see my need for love, hugs, affection reflected in him so clearly. There was a reminder that the need I saw in him was mine. I was not hugging him, I was cajoling and satisfying my need for love.
A few moments later as my gaze fell upon my MIL, the needy, attention-seeking woman was replaced by someone else. I felt I was looking at my own need for attention. I was looking at my need for love, for safety and security.
I looked at my Dad who had left his home and all things familiar to him, to stay with me during this pandemic. In him I could see my fear of dying alone, my need for company, my inability to stay alone.
I saw my husband busy at his laptop, reflecting my need for independence, silence, and simplicity.
What was happening? Was I going mad? Or was I becoming sane? I could see my projections so clearly. Who was out there? Everyone seemed to be a part of me. They were the things I loved or hated, I craved or despised, about myself. And then I remembered my ACIM Lesson for the day. I have invented the world I see.
I have built every person, every object I see because of some apparent need, desire, fear, or greed.
All I can see outside was is what is inside my head. I am seeing exactly what I wanted to see in everyone. I am not going mad. I am experiencing the lesson.
(For more in this series, visit the Lessons of Love page)
Atha : Returning to the Now 