I meant the count for rejections of my short stories. Now as soon as I received a ‘no’ some minutes ago, for my second attempt at having my stories published, I was hurt. Then I continued with my task of finishing my article which I have a self-imposed deadline on. I have been struggling with that article since the past two days and bang, as soon as I begin writing – post the rejection e-mail- the words just seemed to flow out brilliantly. Nothing works well like a good kick to the ego to make my brain work better.
Ya ya, I know I write well. I do not suffer from delusions either about my capacity to write or from an inferiority complex about not being good enough. I am at least past that stage now (phew). It was terrible while it lasted and I know my strengths as well as short-comings now.
And so what if some people don’t like my fictional stories, maybe I am meant to write only real-life stories and articles for I don’t see too many rejections on that front. (Very few, single digit actually in a career spanning 8 years). Now that’s a good record and I hope to keep that up.
I love being a writer and while I do aspire to make my mark as a fiction writer too some day, I guess the time has still not come for it. Even if they never get published, I will at least give myself the satisfaction of continuing to try and send my stories out in the world.
Meanwhile, I will continue to do what I am good at. I love writing non-fiction as much too. Earlier years I had to remind myself to never quit on me just because others don’t believe. That’s the real letting me down. Not rejections. Most writers have a stack of rejection slips. And like them I will collect mine proudly.
What comes through struggle, pain and hard work, is always so much better than what comes in the blink of an eye. And so till then I will let me heart talk and work my brain better.