Part one of this post which speaks about what Forgiveness is and why it is important is here.
HOW DO WE FORGIVE?
According to DOTU there are three major components of forgiveness –
1) Remember that you are dreaming.
2) Forgive both your projected images and yourself for dreaming them.
3) Trust the Holy Spirit and choose his strength.
ACIM’s formula of forgiveness is summed up into these three points too –
1) the cause shall be identified
2) then let go
3) be replaced.
Below is an example of how forgiveness can be applied to a particular situation.
Situation – You feel the child/spouse/partner/boss is not listening to you. Trying to communicate generates anger, frustration and results in an argument.
1) As soon as you realise you are fighting, as soon as you are aware, pause and step out of the room. Take a break. Breathe and check if you willing to let this go.
2) If you are not willing to let this go or the upset/emotions feel strong, do some tapping, H ‘o’ pono pono or any clearing process to release the energy. Only then go on to forgiveness. If the energy is too intense, chances are forgiveness will not work.
3) If you are willing to let this go, look at the situation and check if you can identify the emotion that has got triggered or the judgement at work here.
4) Next, ask for the help from holy spirit. This can be done in the form of a prayer or simply stating an intent. (Prayers are given below). It is useful to say the prayer and address the problem/judgement/etc. If you are not clear about what specific thought, judgement or belief is triggering this, then you could say, “Please help me forgive whatever I think is happening or not happening.”
5) Create some forgiveness statements for yourself and the person you have projected this on. Example-
I forgive myself for being impatient with ….
I forgive myself for yelling at …..
I forgive myself for wanting things to go my way all the time…
I forgive myself for being bossy….
I forgive …. for not listening to me
I forgive ….. for raising his/her voice at me….
I forgive myself for wanting to be right all the time…..
I forgive myself for wanting attention….
I forgive myself for believing all this is real…
I forgive myself for wanting this to be real…
I forgive myself for being unable to let go of the past…
Create forgiveness statements for yourself, the person who you are angry with, the situation. It anger is what you are forgiving, it also helps if during this process you create statements for anyone else you may have been angry with at other points of time. Dual-sided forgiveness is when you forgive yourself and the other. GD points out that triple-sided forgiveness is even more powerful.
5) Hand this over to the holy spirit once again. This is a very important step. ACIM reminds us that forgiveness cannot be done by the mind. It is the Holy Spirit/God/Jesus who can actually make forgiveness happen. Once the imaginary problem is handed over, we come to a state of trust and surrender… a state of “Thy will be done.”
– The situation given above is very simple. But forgiveness works the same for what we think of as a fight with someone or a fight to see the cancer as being unreal.
– Forgiveness cannot fix the problem. We can only fix our need to see the problem as real.
– It is only when we forgive others (our projections) that we can truly begin to forgive the illusion. The point is also to see the ‘other’ is the same as us.
– Allow the forgiveness statements to emerge organically. There are no right and wrong words. The act of forgiveness takes places due to our connection to God/Jesus/holy spirit. It is not based on what we say as much as our willingness to see the projection and release it.
– Many forgiveness practises do not use forgiveness statements. But explicitly saying that you forgive yourself for …. and forgive others for (whatever you see) is a very powerful way of putting the truth out there. It is like accepting that you are in a dream, being willing to see it and allowing it to be released all at once.
– Using energetic tools like tapping, along with forgiveness statements really helps release the more stubborn, repetitive incidents that keep popping up. Tapping as you say the forgiveness statements can make you feel really light and empty.
– Forgiveness may not result in changing the situation as we see it. Forgiveness works across timelines and you may not see the impact you expect in your life.
– As you begin to pay attention to your mind, you may feel like you spend most waking moments of your day only doing forgiveness. Do not stop during this period. As Gary Renard says so beautifully in DOTU – “Discipline is doing what doesn’t come to us. Eons of habitual reactions and thought patterns are not changed easily. But my recent experiences were telling me that they could be changed.”
– While the ultimate goal is to step out the dream, even that is handed to the Holy Spirit/God/Jesus. The point is – Don’t sulk you are in the dream or feel guilt about wanting and desiring things. That is the ego’s goal to keep us stuck! All we need do is practise forgiveness and leave the rest to God.
1) DOTU – True Forgiveness Thought Process Sample
You are not really there. If you think you are guilty or the cause of the problem, and if I made you up, then imagined guilt and fear must be in me. Since the separation from God never occurred, I forgive “both” of us for what we haven’t really done. Now there is only innocence, and I join with the Holy Spirit in peace.
2) From GD’s talks – Useful at the start of Forgiveness
Dear Jesus, my forgiveness is not perfect but yours is. Please help me with this forgiveness. All I can say is that my willingness is 100% and your ability is 100%. Together, our forgiveness will be 100%. Amen.
You are not really there. If I think you are guilty or the cause of the problem, and if I made you up, then the imagine guilt and the fear must be in me. Since the separation from God never occurred, I forgive “both” of us for what we haven’t really done. Now there is only innocence, and I join with the Holy Spirit in peace.
3) Daily prayer for forgiveness
– Today I am willing to see past illusions to the truth,
– Today I am willing to become a little child and be taught by the one who knows,
– Today I step back and take my unhealed thoughts to the light, that I might see them for the nothingness they are.
– I am willing to let my projections be undone
– I am willing to remember where I am always
– Today I am willing to be happy, instead of right.
4) Useful at the end of the forgiveness process –
ACIM Lesson 46 – God is the Love in which I forgive.
God is the Love in which I forgive you, (name)
God is the Love in which I forgive myself.
God is the Love with which I love myself.
God is the Love in which I am blessed.
I cannot be guilty because I am a Son of God.
I have already been forgiven.
No fear is possible in a mind beloved to God.
There is no need to attack because Love has forgiven me.
God is the Love in which I forgive you.
5) Nouk Sanchez – Useful at the start of the process
Holy Spirit, please help me to forgive myself for having unknowingly used this person/situation/pain/sickness/lack/anger/anxiety, etc. to attack myself, and to separate from your love as my holy self. Amen.