Rolling in the deep

Over a period of 6 years, I gave up most things that brought me joy. Why, I don’t know. I didn’t even notice it. Books slipped past me, music climbed charts and fell, steps disappeared from the feet. I lost joy in my work and it became more about money, I ignored my health so much that my body began to hurt me, I stopped meditation and it showed in an unrecognizable spirit. I lost joy in my family, my husband, my children and my life. Life was a series of overwhelming responsibilities and I focused solely on meeting them. And then the world collapsed around me. When I picked myself up, I realized I had to work on re-building my mind, body and soul. I had to do things differently. Then I came to the US.

Though I had the intent, little did I realize how much this year would end up meaning to me. I began dancing again. I took lessons, taught dance and remembered that few things in life make me as happy as dancing. Then music came my way. I re-discovered my camera and froze Boston in frames. Then came books with their hidden surprises and myriad lessons. After 32 years of dreaming about swimming, I took the plunge and jumped in. With my body moving, my mind seems to have shaken off its shackles. It began to learn afresh lessons of love. It drew me closer to my baby boy and my husband. My spirit felt ablaze with the newer perspectives and lessons that seemed to fly at me from all directions. My ideas were revived, my intellect honed and determination sharpened. Then the words arrived, laughing at my fear that they would never return. I hold them close, breathe their fragrance, hold their hand as they run amok and laugh.

But the most important re-discovery has been about the power of friendships. I have many acquaintances and few friends. And I never realized I had them till I was at the lowest point in my life. These handful of friends scolded me, motivated me, believed in me and helped me change my life. Then when I came to the US, friendships began to blossom. Soon I was amidst a garden with the most beautiful flowers from around the world. I have made deep lasting and sweet friendships with remarkable women from around the world which I want to carry forth with me this lifetime.

I feel blissful and blessed. I feel lucky and proud. I feel humbled and grateful. This awareness came as I was listening to Adele’s Rolling in the Deep for the first time last night. I was rolling in the deep for long and now there is a fire in my heart 🙂